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Re: [Funny] An Idiot's Benchmark

M <ihatespam.0.a101888@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> writes:

> Kelsey Bjarnason wrote:
>> On Sun, 02 Apr 2006 09:35:34 +0100, Roy Schestowitz wrote:
>>> "Jorge Lopez is a DeVry graduate with an MCSE certification and is
>>> currently working as a Windows LAN Administrator."
>>> Anti-Linux
>>>         http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/mcse2.htm
>> "I save a lot of time thanks to Windows XP, which brings me to another
>> area where Linux is lacking. As I am sitting here writing this column, my
>> computer is busily defragging my hard drive, running my virus scanner, and
>> I'm being shown a list of all the latest MS security patches that are
>> being remotely installed on my machine today. Why doesn't Linux come with
>> any defragmenting tools or virus scanners or Active Backdoor Update like
>> you get with Windows?"


>> Could someone explain to me how doing _more_ work, work that simply _does
>> not need to be done_, saves time?  With small words and maybe pictures?  I
>> confess, I do not get it.
> No I don't get it either! I always thought that this something that just
> slowed your machine down, and generally slowed productivity, (but was a
> necessary evil). Guess I must be missing something too.

Er, guys?  This article was a joke.  (Presumably Roy got it, since
he marked it "[Funny]".)  If the bits about virus scanners and
defragging (or the DeVry credentials) weren't obvious enough, how
about this:

    I especially like the four games it comes with - Hearts, FreeCell
    (so addictive!), Minesweeper, and Solitaire. It's easy to see why
    XP is considered the ultimate platform for gamers.

Or this:

    Linux is seriously lacking in Internet utilities as well. No way
    would I run a Linux operating system if it means I can't connect
    to America Online.

Or this:

    I have dabbled with Mandrake Linux for a day or so, and I was
    shocked by how few preference-gathering applications were running
    in the background and how it did absolutely no "calling home",
    never even contacting the Mandrake server to make sure my
    product's license key was intact. Who wants to use an operating
    system that doesn't learn about you, that doesn't keep track of
    what you like to look at on the web, listen to, or watch? With
    Windows XP Home, I have the peace of mind that comes with knowing
    my habits and activities are being monitored by Microsoft, and my
    computer's hardware configuration and list of installed software
    is being stored in a database in Redmond.

Or this:

    Users of Microsoft software have nothing to worry about from a
    legal perspective, which lets Windows network administrators like
    myself sleep easier at night. Or it would if our pagers weren't
    constantly going off.

Or his 2002 article claiming that the next version of Windows
would be called "Windows No", with a made-up quote from Ballmer:

    With built-in digital rights management, automatic updates,
    background reporting, detailed event logging, and tighter
    integration between the OS and critical components like Windows
    Media Player and Microsoft Office, "Windows No" will enhance the
    user experience by protecting the rights of digital content
    providers and improve the trustworthiness of the Microsoft

Jorge also comments:

    A computer is a tool that owns you. Microsoft, after being lax for
    far too long on the subject of digital rights protection, is
    finally using its EULA to tighten the leash around consumers? 
    necks. Not maliciously, of course, but more like the gentle
    correction of the choke chain we use on our dogs.

"It's one of the easiest tickets to true fame--not this silly stuff
where people cheer you for a few years and then forget about you--but
the kind of fame where school kids have to read your biography and do
reports on you." -- Another reason to support James S. Harris.

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