> It appears that The University of Manchester is now offering it's
> students a program in Internet Spamming,Trolling and Radical Linux
> Post Activity
> Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
> 2004 44 99 78
> 2005 222 142 179 254 116 305 398 664 579 547 457 367
> 2006 373 950 1654 631 1923 1868 1855 2041 2166 1470 1715
> 2007 2159 1953 2137 1871 1878 1482 1707 1497 1351 1064 888
> I'm going to sign up next year!
> It looks like a great program!
> Here is my letter of intent to apply:
> Dear Manchester University Admissions,
> I am currently a student taking up space at Whats-a-Matta-U
> University located in Nervous Sheep Scotland.
> I am considering continuing my studies by entering a doctoral program
> at Manchester University leading to a PHD degree in Internet Based
> Linux Trolling.
> I understand that you have an intensive program at Manchester which is
> targeted directly at my
> field of choice.
> If I can be Frank for a moment, I'll reveal that I am interested in a
> program which puts as little demand upon my free time as possible.
> I understand you have a student registered in the Linux Trolling
> program who goes by them name of Roy Schestowitz.
> He is indeed my mentor and I wish to duplicate his class and
> requirment schedule because it must be one heck of an easy program to
> skate through considering he has the time to troll the Internet 7 days
> a week, twenty four hours a day posting anti Microsoft messages
> in order to make Linux look good.
> I also understand that you have paid internship programs where I can
> actually be paid by Linux organizations to troll the Internet.
> I'd like to be considered for the same program that Roy Schestowitz is
> enrolled in because it
> appears to be a whopper!
> In conclusion, please consider my application and send my anonymous
> regards to your star student
> Roy Schestowitz at Manchester University.
> Krotch Kricket
Dear Mr. Kricket,
Thank you for your application to the University of M'chester Internet
Spamming Program. We appreciate your interest and we are happy to
inform you that you have been admitted to the PhD program in Internet
We welcome you to the elite group of spammers. Our program is about to
graduate one of our finest spammer - Roy Schestowitz - who has used
university computers to spam several newsgroups. Not only that, we
take pride in Roy's ability to generate revenue through his website
using university computers. He has also excelled in piracy and has
served as a client to Mr. Mark Kent's business involving his family.
Your interest in following the footsteps of Roy Schestowitz is
appreciated. We would like to mention that there has been no spammer
like Roy Schestowitz; expect to work extremely hard to spam like him.
While in the program, you might find freelancing jobs like the one Roy
has found where he is paid per post and has made spamming his career.
You may find an even better career after graduating from our program.
With spamming, you may make friends with benefits as Roy has made
"friends" with Mark Kent and his sons.
We encourage you to create your own website so that you may start
earning through spamming. We will be more than happy to provide you
University network access. Should there be a problem, we suggest you
indulge yourself in Mark Kent's business and pay him a part of your
income to spam through his network.
Again, welcome to the University of M'chester. We look forward to
training you to become one of the best spammers.
University of M'chester