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Re: Windows EULA 'Translated' into Simple English

__/ [ Mathew P. ] on Sunday 07 May 2006 08:52 \__

> Hash: SHA1
> On 2006-05-06, unionpenny@xxxxxxxxx spake thusly:
>> I have noticed that MS doesn't really advertise their software for any
>> purpose. They give the impression of great things you can do with it,
>> but mostly it is a "Joe Camel" style of message.  You will be cool, or
>> an office hero, or something, but not "Office is for" anything.
> I can see it all now .....
> Senator: "Mr Gates, did you, or anyone that worked with you or under you,
> have any knowledge at any time, that Windows or it's products, were harmful
> to the users health, or by so using, they might suffer ill effects?"
> (lawyer puts hand over microphone and whispers into the ear of Mr.
> Gates)
> Mr. Gates: Mr Senator, I respectfully invoke my rights as gauranteed to me
> by the fifth amendment.
> Six months later ......
> Seattle Journal of Commerce:
> And in other news, Microsoft chairman and founder Bill Gates was found
> to be resposible for the pain and suffering of millions of computer
> users worldwide through his Windows line of software products. The special
> senate investigative commission determined that the software giant
> did knowingly influence young, impressionable, and older, but computer
> inexperienced, potential users to use thier product, with the employment of
> such psycological conditioning techniques as friendly multicolored floating
> window icons, and animated, talking paperclips.

This neglects to mention harm done to those that surround them (think
/smoking/). What about SPAM and DDOS attacks? What about viruses floating
/en masse/ and draining valuable resources that could otherwise be used by
Google's Linux-based datacentres to better serve humanity?

> Microsoft (NASDAQ MSFT) was ordered by the commission in it's summary,
> to discontinue use of all such psycological marketing teqniques based
> on style, logo recognition, or non-function based artificial appeal,
> including, but not restricted to, their mulitcolored floating flag icon,
> and animated paperclip. Included in the order was a prohibition against
> displaying or promoting any of their products in areas where minors might
> have access to them without supervision. Minimum useage age continues
> to be under discussion with the commission. Microsoft was futher banned
> from advertising any of their product line across electronic broadcast
> media such as television, or satellite radio (see section 2266.53445
> subsection 34 of FCC regulatory rules and guidelines for definitions). In a
> statement, Steven A. Ballmer, chief executive officer of Microsoft
> corporation, said, "I was the first business manager hired by Bill Gates,
> and joined the team in 1980. Through agressive unethical and ruthless
> business practices, which some have irresponsibly called 'monopolistic', We
> have come to be the worlds leading manufacturer of software for personal
> and business computing." Mr. Ballmer paused, and the press noted that his
> head was sweating profusely. Continuing his statement, he said, "Mr. Gates
> could not be here today, but he wished me to assure the users of, and
> investors in, Microsoft, that the quality of it's products could not
> possibly get any worse, even in the face of the clearly biased, and unfair
> persecution perpetrated by the commission.
> Microsoft was ordered to include warning labels on all products in plain
> language that indicated the dangers of using their products. The
> Font size was predetermined, and several choices of messages were
> made availble by the commission.

I thought about this one before...


                (Apologies in advance to smokers. I was merely trying
                 to make a point and I lost family members to smoking)

Best wishes,


Roy S. Schestowitz      | McDonald's does to diet what Microsoft does to PC's
http://Schestowitz.com  |  GNU is Not UNIX  ¦     PGP-Key: 0x74572E8E
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